TWO BY TWO

• TP: Trey Parker
• MS: Matt Stone
• BL: Bobbly Lopez

BL & TP: Whoo wah! hey yah! shoo wah! zah-dap wow!

Two by two
We’re marching door to door
Cause God loves Mormons
And he wants some more

A two-year mission
Is our sacrifice
We are the Army of the Church of Jesus Christ
Of Latter-Day Saints

Two by two
And today we’ll know
Who we’ll make the journey with
And where we’ll go

We’re fighting for a cause
But we’re really, really nice
We are the Army of the Church of Jesus Christ…
Of Latter-Day Saints!

TP: Elder Young and Elder Grant.

MS: Yessir?

TP: Hello.

TP: Your location will be… France!

TP: France! Land of berets and.. crèpes!

BL & TP: Two by two
I guess it’s you and me
We’re off to preech across land and sea

BL: Satan has ahold of France
TP: We need to knock him off his perch
BOTH: We are the Soldiers of the Army of the Church
Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

TP: Elder White and Elder Smith

MS: I knew we’d get paired together!

TP: Your location will be… Norway!

TP: Norway! Land of Gnomes and Trolls!

TP: Elder Jones and Elder Parks, you will be serving in…Japan!

TP: Japan? Land of soy sauce and, and Mothra!

TP: Elder Harris and Elder Cross…

TP: So many places
Where will I go on my mission?
Will it be China
Or old Mexico on my mission?

Soon I’ll be off in a faraway land
Preaching Heavenly Father’s plan
But I’m not quite sure I’m the man - for this mission!

TP: Elder Price.

TP: Yes, sir.

TP: Your brother will be… Elder Cunningham.

MS: Hello!

TP: Oh, hi.

TP: And your location is… Uganda!

TP: U-Uganda?

TP: Uganda… land of… of…Sir, where exactly is Uganda?

TP: Africa!

TP: Oh boy, like Lion King!

BL & TP: Two by two
And now it’s time to go
Our paths have been revealed so let’s start the show

Our shirts are clean and pressed
And our haircuts are precise
We are the Army of the Church of Jesuuuus Christ

Two by two
We march for victory
Armed with the greatest book in history

We’ll convert everyone
All across the planet Earth
That is the beauty of
The essence of
The purpose of
The mission of
The soldiers of the Army of the Church of Jesus Christ
Of Latter-Day Saints