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I’ve done another of my Book of Mormon Demo transcriptions! This time it’s “The Bible, Part 3” a.k.a. “All-American Prophet, the Prequel” lol. The other transcriptions I’ve done.

I love this version, and the final version. Watching the two bootlegs and comparing this and the final versions with each other, you can tell what parts were really important to them to keep based on how long they clung to it before getting rid of it. This video helps explain that, and explains “I have maggots in my scrotum”, lol:

“Once we came up with that ‘I have maggots in my scrotum’ would replace ‘I thought the third Matrix was the worst one’ – which really is the same thing…” lol.

• Trey Parker: Elder Price (default), Joseph Smith, God, Nabulungi & Gotswana
• Bobby Lopez: Elder Cunningham

Trey:
(as Elder Price) The Old Testament was written
Thousands of years ago
But it was only Part One
Of the greatest story ever told

Many, many years later
The Bible’s sequel came about
It was called The New Testament
And made lots of people shout

But what if I were to tell you
That there’s more of the story to hear?
What if there’s more Bible to read?
*chuckle* Now I’ve got your ear…

Trey & Bobby:
Just like Lord of the Rings and Star Wars
The Bible is a trilogy too!
And if you don’t read or see Part Three
It’ll all be confusing to you.

Bobby:
A Part Three of The Bible? That’s amazing!

Trey:
Jewish people like Part One
Christians think Part Two is best
But in Part Three Everything gets wrapped up
And all your questions put to rest!

Part Three has all your favourite characters
And lots of new ones too!
And a whole lot more twists & turns
And every word of it’s true!

Trey & Bobby:
Just like Godfather and Terminator
The Bible is a trilogy too!
And if you don’t read or see Part Three
It’ll all be confusing to you.

Trey:
I’m gonna take you back in time
To the ancient land of the United States, 1823
A little American boy named Joe
Livin’ on a farm in the holy land of Albany, New York!

Bobby:
You mean the Mormon prophet, Joseph Smith?

Trey:
That’s right that little boy spoke to God!

Bobby:
He spoke to God?

Trey:
And God said “Joe, people really need to know
That the Bible isn’t two parts, there’s a Part Three to The Bible, Joe!
And I, God, have anointed you to dig up this Part Three
Which is buried by a tree on a hill in your backyard!”

Bobby:
Wow! What happened next?

Trey:
Prophet Joe went up on that hill
And he dug up the ancient book!
And he rushed and hurried into town
And said, “Everyone! Take a look! God just spoke to me and gave me this blessed ancient tome! With haste let us copy it and put it in every home!”

Trey & Bobby:
Just like Back to the Future and Rush Hour
The Bible is a trilogy too!
And if you don’t read or see Part Three
It’ll all be confusing to you.

Trey:
Did you think it was weird in Part Two
When Jesus died for just three days?
Well that’s paid off in Part Three
And the whole thing gets explained

And if you get confused with what happened to all the Jews
Who were set up so well in Part One
They totally rally in the thrilling finale
And the _____?_____ was rollicking gripping & moving, a sensational epic of nail-biting family fun!

Trey & Bobby:
Just like Austin Powers and the Bourne films,
The Bible is a trilogy too!
No, it’s not a myth - thank Joseph Smith
For bringing the finale to you.

Trey:
Now many people in town didn’t believe the prophet Joseph Smith,
They thought he made up this Part Three
That was buried by a tree on a hill in his backyard,
Many people even called Joseph Smith a liar!

Bobby:
But why would he lie? He’s a prophet!

Trey:
Right!
So Joe said, “This is no lie, I speak to God all the time
And He’s told me to head West!
So I’ll take my Part Three from the hill with the tree
Feel free if you’d like to come along with me
To the Promised Land!

Bobby:
The Promised Land?

Trey:
(as Joseph Smith) Paradise, on the west coast! Nothing but water and fruit and fields as far as the eyes can see!

Bobby:
And those were the very first Mormons? Wow! What an incredible offer!

Trey:
(back to Elder Price) Joe lead his followers westward throughout the USA,
Spreading their new religion to folks along the way,
They kept searching for that Promised Land Joe promised there would be
And as they passed through every town, the Mormons would decree:

Trey & Bobby:
Just like Godfather and Terminator
The Bible is a trilogy too!
And if you don’t read or see Part Three
It’ll all be confusing to you.

Trey:
(as Nabulungi) Did they find paradise–?

(back to Elder Price) Mad Max was dark and sad, Road Warrior kind of stalled,
But Mad Max III; Beyond Thunderdome was the greatest one of all
And imagine if the Matrix had ended at the end of Part Two
Or if it ended after the first one–

(as Gotswana) I actually thought the third Matrix was the worst one.

(back to Elder Price) Oh. Okay. Well, anyway,
Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad,
On the way to the promised land, the Mormons made people mad
Prophet Joe was tarred and feathered and left alone to die
But even as his life drained away, people swore they heard him cry…

(as Joseph Smith) Just like Mighty Ducks and Naked Gun…
The Bible is a trilogy too!
And if you choose not to believe me
It will just stay confusing to you.
*death rattle*

(back to Elder Price) The prophet Joseph Smith died for what he believed, but his followers, they kept heading west. And they found that Promised Land: a sparkling paradise they named Salt Lake City. And there they built a church! And their new religion flourished!! And we come from there today to tell you what Joseph Smith told those early Mormons long ago:

Trey & Bobby:
That just like Pirates of the Caribbean,
The Bible is a trilogy too! (“Woo!” from Bobby)
You’ve got to read the finale
To get the whole world-view!

Trey:
(as Joseph Smith) Don’t give up on the Bible ‘til you’re completely through!

Trey & Bobby:
Cuz if you read or see Part Three
You’ll reach the Promised Land too!

Trey:
Remember, my friends, listen to me, because I’ll pass this way but once.